Thoughts on Leaving Home a Second Time
As we are making last minute preparations to move to Thailand indefinitely for the second time around, I have these unexpected knots in the pit of my stomach. It was just 14 months ago we were preparing for this same move across the world and leaving behind everything familiar to us, but I vividly remember the excitement just oozing from my soul. Sure it was an anxious-excitement, but more excitement than anything. I was so ready to take on a new adventure and travel the world with the love of my life. But this time…its different.
It’s not that I am not excited to be heading back to Thailand. In fact, I’m thrilled to get back to the simple life. I’m ready to hop on the back of our Honda Forza and go for a drive to our favorite coffee spot in the mountains. My mouth is watering for my favorite Chiang Mai dish, Khao Soi, and a Good Morning shake from DaDa Cafe. Wanderlust floods my veins as I think about crossing more items off our bucket list and visiting the S.E. Asia countries we missed, like Indonesia, Malaysia and Vietnam. But for some reason, that crappy anxious feeling is taking over my body making leaving home in a few days a hell of a lot harder.
It may sound a bit ass backwards – that I would be more anxious about leaving home when knowing what to expect opposed to leaving home not knowing what’s to come – but it actually makes sense to me. This time, I know exactly what things I am going to miss so dearly. I know that there are certain things that will leave a void in me while I’m away. I will long for a girls day with my best friend, drinking wine and watching marathons of Sex and the City while gossiping about nothing and everything. I will miss waking up every morning to my family dog, Zoe, greeting me at the stairs and drinking my favorite cup of Donut Shop coffee with vanilla creamer. I will seriously miss my momma’s home-cooked meals every night.
That’s the thing about travel. I suppose that’s the thing about life. You can’t have it all and sacrifices always have to be made. I know these things won’t be gone forever. I just have to say goodbye to them for a little while in order to keep following my dreams. As sad as I am to be saying goodbye again, I know that goodbye is only for a little while and I am so excited to see what this next year has in store for us. When we embarked on this journey last year, I never would have guessed we would hit 10 countries and I especially didn’t expect to be traveling to Germany and Paris and Bruges. There’s no telling where this year will take us, but I’m sure it will be nothing short of spectacular.