The Never-Ending Haircut
It has rained pretty much all day for the past two days now. Post Thailand Robbery Situation, I decided we needed to get our locks changed. Changing the locks, requires me using a translator to speak to the condo owner. Today I set out to meet our extremely helpful translator, the same one that helped us negotiate the condo lease.
Of course, as soon as I got all the way across town to meet the translator, it starts to pour down raining. This made for a soggy-bottom ride back to the condo. While driving, I decided if I was already covered in dirty Thai runoff water, I might as well get a hair-cut and add the necessity of a shower. I also made the decision not to go back to my normal barber, as the last two haircuts I got from him resulted in me looking, well, like a literal dick-head, aka mini bowl-cut. My uncle was just in town for a week and he went to this guy, and it wasn’t pretty for him either. You can see the pre-haircut video he shot here
Seeking out a new barber closer to the condo landed me in the completely Thai neighborhood located behind our complex. I figured if I drove up and down enough streets in the neighborhood, Id be sure to find a barber, stylist, or more common, a chair in a room. While driving I ran into, a man we named Gramps, as he is an older Thai man which we keep running into throughout Khon Kaen. Gramps lived in Saudi Arabia for eight years, and worked with some of “our people” as he calls, Americans. Because he’s worked with Americans, his English is understandable. I pulled up to Gramps’ food stand, (he sells something wrapped in banana leaves) and point to my helmet and say hair cut. He understood me instantly, gave me directions and that is how I ended up at the never-ending haircut.
Getting a Haircut in Khon Kaen
This woman’s barber shop was right where Gramps directed me. I walk in, interrupting her texting, and she says something unknown to me in Thai. At first I thought maybe she didn’t want to cut my hair, and she wasn’t very friendly. I decided to push through anyways, sat down in her chair, and gave her my normal hair cut shpeal…. Nueng, Song, Sam, Si. In other words, 1, 2, 3, 4 as I progress from my ear line and head north. She mutters something and I took this as acknowledgement of my description. Fire up the clippers.
She did put on a number four, or what I thought was a number four anyways, as these clipper guards were in some metric scale. She buzzed away, leaving my bangs, and I thought for sure, oh well, she’ll come back for these with the scissors. In between taking off the number four and not replacing it with another guard, my phone rang. The silent shop, now erupted in my duck quacking ringtone. She thought this was hilarious and laughed hysterically as I answered the call. Well the once thought angry haircut lady, is not my best friend, all due to a ringtone.
I guess I should mention, the process to put the number four guard on, cut, and then take it off, took a solid 20 minutes. I was a bit uneasy when she then approached me with no guard on, said nueng (meaning number one) and chuckled. I knew right then I was coming out looking like my uncle from a week ago.
She buzzed around for another 40 minutes, and I had had enough. I went to stand up when I thought she was done, and she scolded me. How foolish was I to not remember she was going to shave me with an old fashion style razor. I declined the razor, but did ask she go back and clip my bangs which were left long in comparison to her number four. Luckily she clipped this silly-looking patch of hair on the front of my head and I bolted out of there. To be far, the haircut turned out not so bad, and after the quaking ring tone, she was rather friendly, and even asked me how old I was before I left. I thought this was the perfect opportunity to ask her how old she was, 50, and snap the picture.
I am undecided if I will return to her or not. It seems there is a general misunderstanding between Thais and foreigners, that we Westerners do not like the bad version of a bowl cut. Needless to say, tapering of the hair has not caught on in Thailand.
About the Author Charlie and Brittany
We are Brittany and Charlie - we traded the 9 to 5 and the so-called "American dream" to live our own dream and see the world. We sold all of our belongings and left the US in August 2013. For 5 years, we lived primarily in Thailand and built our online business and location independent lifestyle while we traveled to over 30 countries. We’ve had house sitting gigs on 3 different continents and we’ve even appeared on HGTV’s House Hunters International.
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